Happy Halloween! I love this holiday and it is not because I can dress like a slut. Halloween reminds me of my childhood and good times with my family; carving pumpkins, eating too much candy (that my mom would sort for me, do parents still care?), decorating the house, watching scary movies, and baking pumpkin seeds. Yes, in the past, I too have dressed with all my lady lumps hanging out and squeezed myself into something I would never be caught wearing in public. I am not sure at what age it became mandatory to dress like a hooker, but it is fantastic people watching to make fun of all the dummies that should leave wearing slutty outfits to the drag queens on Santa Monica Blvd. (because at least they have nice legs) and women who weigh under 125lbs. or built like little boys. All the other ladies – try something else. It is not cute (but I do love making fun of you).
Facebook is littered with photos of groups of ladies wearing a variety of way too tight, Marilyn Manson-esque, and the “you belong on the corner” costumes. Once in a while, I see something a girl is wearing and think they look great. Most of the time they look like they went shopping on Hollywood Blvd and bought whatever they could zip up. Just because your skinny friends are wearing the costume, does not mean you should buy one, get it altered 3 sizes larger than was originally designed, and try to pose with your arm at your hip and think no one will notice that you look like a cow (even if you have big boobs). You still look like a cow.
This is a perfect example of a massive epidemic in our society. We are not sheep. Every woman should dress (appropriately) for their body type, wear makeup because it matches their skin tone (and not their much tanner friend’s skin), and think for themselves (even if you are slightly opinionated). It takes more of a woman to speak her mind (even if your so called “friends” tell her to watch who you talk/write about), wear what looks good on you, and march to the beat of your own drum. After taking inventory on facebook, some of my best looking/skinny friends (most confident) went as overweight truck drivers, deathly creatures, and zombies this Halloween. These ladies have been in my life forever and I now know why. We never followed the leader, but were and are leaders who travel independently from the herd of (sluts) sheep.
Women are taught that traveling in a herd is socially acceptable from a young age. Take doing time in a sorority. They are taught that you must dress like your sisters, think like them, hook up with the same guys, and share each other’s makeup and clothing. No, you should not! I pledged a sorority (for 24 hours) and it was clear to me that I was NOT part of the herd when I was reprimanded for not passing the food, counter clockwise and by seniority around the dinner table. This was my exit sign. But, I see women following other women in packs because that is what everyone else is doing.
Melanys Guydline #22 Do not dress like a slut because everyone else is doing it. Do it because you ARE a slut (some of you really are, so disregard and carry on with what you already do).
**Stay snarky my friends!**