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IT’S MELANYSGUYDLINES AND MY BIRTHDAY WEEK SNARKY BITCHES!

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND WE ARE CELEBRATING ONE YEAR FOR MELANYSGUYDLINES.COM!! I CANT BELIEVE HOW FAR WE HAVE COME IN A SHORT YEAR. IT HAS BEEN A LOT OF HARD WORK, SWEAT, TEARS, LAUGHTER, AND SOME OTHER (@!@#$#$%) WORDS! “What a Long Strange Trip It Has Been”  – ain’t that the truth? But only SNARKY bitches get an entire birthday WEEK!   Hope you have taken away a few good “guydlines” for your life that make you laugh! They have helped me digest this crazy life that CHOSE me. It keeps getting weirder every day and I never have a… Continue Reading

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A Salute to Our Favorite Twitter Followers!

Tonight, Melany’s Guydlines (@melanyb12) will hit 3,000 followers, and we here at the office are shamelessly proud.  What’s better than having scores of hilarious “friends” to bolster your internet notoriety?  It’s 2013 man, if you don’t have an online posse, you’re a nobody. Seriously though, we’ve been lucky enough to read some funny shit thanks to some snarky virtual companions.  From this point forward we’re going to make a habit of throwing some of our favorite twitter accounts a bone to show our appreciation for your follow. Five Followers That Crack Us Up @chucklesdowner Take your old rickety tweet from… Continue Reading

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Spoof on Hot Guy Marketing Trend- Meet Josh Button

Before you embark on your long Memorial Day weekend festivities, I wanted to leave you with a big smile on your face and I know exactly how to do that! This may be my favorite request so far and I could not turn down this opportunity. I am single (still)! Here you go….. Introducing, Josh Button – model, spicy food addict, dog lover, and a HOT GUY. I’m sure you’ve noticed all of the companies using hot guys to market to women, even when their products don’t seem to require a hot guy.  DIET Dr Pepper’s new spot, “Josh Button,”… Continue Reading

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Congratulations to Alison Maria aka relation_shits

CONGRATULATIONS to our winner of the Las Vegas contest! She really hit the Jackpot!! I love her snarky attitude and appreciate her entry! Thank you so much. I am pleased to announce the following person has won a long and hard fight for the amazing Las Vegas weekend prize. Help me congratulate – Alison Maria aka @relation_shits from Twitter!! Here is the winning/snarky/humorous #guydline: Always ending up with the brides bouquets but never the man. Flowers, those are easy to catch. Guys, not so much… (49%, 321 Votes) Thank you so much for your participation and I wish you lots… Continue Reading

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An Ode to the Intern : Libby Graduates!

This weekend while you sit at your local dive and try to make sex eyes at the only person in the room that’s remotely passable, our intern Libby will be donning the cap and gown on the big stage at Loyola Marymount University.  A momentous occasion for any young adult.  Take for instance this tasteful tweet from yours truly on the day of my graduation. (Cover your eyes Melany’s Mom) Purdue commencement : Why the fuck didn't any of you tell me to skip this? — Matthew Shawn Bailey (@SonofHilljack) August 4, 2012 Forewarning Libby, everything changes when you step… Continue Reading

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Proud to be chosen as the Why Not Girl of the Week! – yours truly

A fellow Arizona alumnus has chosen me to be the Why Not Girl of the week on her blog, Why Not Girl! The premise behind the blog is to feature and embrace women who take chances and follow their dreams. I think there is a special message here to any woman choosing to try something new in their lives. It may be taking a new class, moving cities or in my case, starting my own business. Life is about risks and taking chances and we need to embrace change and move forward! Thanks Lauren for choosing me for this week’s… Continue Reading

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ToadHopNetwork is now a sponsor to the Las Vegas contest #guydlines giveaway!

Toadhopnetwork and Melanysguydlines is sending you to VEGAS!

So, if our contest could not get any sweeter, it just did!!! I am so excited to announce that we have added our special sponsors/rockstar promoters ToadHopNetwork!  Now what do you think? Go check out the radio shows on the network. There is something for everyone. Sex, rock (KLOS – Heidi and Frank), geeks, funny…..on and on. I thought that giving my loyal followers and newcomers a chance to win a weekend in Vegas on me would get a lot of entries. But, I have found that running a contest is more challenging than just offering a kick ass prize… Continue Reading

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I am dating my blog

Be nice or I will blog about you!

There are people who blog like scrapbooking and people who are working their ass off to TRY and make a living doing it. I never knew that you could make a living from blogging and started with Melanysguydlines.com as a creative and cathartic outlet. But, I really needed a job and guys, I have to make a living and Teddy is hungry. It is not as easy as you think. People ask me what I am doing and trust me – I am working 19+ hour days. I wake up to Melanysguydlines at 5:30 AM, we eat breakfast, shower, shit,… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines.com Team: Snarky true life experts

Snarky team of melanysguydlines.com

Yesterday, the Melanysguydlines.com team met for the fist time at the Roosevelt Hotel Pool in Hollywood for a windy and long lunch (with beer and grey goose sodas). I am so proud of what has been accomplished here in under a year! This process has been hard work but I am starting to see it pay off! I hope that you have enjoyed my journey thus far and continue to laugh with us about the stupidity of people, craziness of life, chaos of dating and navigating this totally trippy world with a huge helping of snark. Life is too hard… Continue Reading

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Sweet Sixteen Ain’t So Sweet For Me

So, as you all know my Arizona Wildcats lost (got robbed by terrible officiating) in the Sweet Sixteen last week. But, just attending such sporting events always makes for good people watching (bashing). I need to send a special shout out to the couple in front of me (who probably paid $1000 a ticket). The woman was more interested in reading the Wall Street Journal by holding the paper directly above her head to read it (holding it straight in front of her eyes was just not good enough). I can tell her exactly what she was reading and she… Continue Reading

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Good Riddance 2012

I want to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to make people laugh with melanysguydlines.com.  This single girl blog was created as a result of some of the hardest moments in my life but has served well as MY cathartic outlet. My tag line is that I have lived 9 lives, and I truly have . I have been blessed with loving parents and for that I am most thankful. Each of us has our own struggles and obstacles to overcome. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Relationships 101

Thank you guys for taking the time to post comments regarding my last post “Gentlemen know best”. It is great to hear from you and I welcome all your feedback. Consider this single girl blog a social experiment for the both of us. I write about whatever comes to my mind (good and bad) and you give me your honest feedback. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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