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Stupid people

Golf: the George Clooney of sports events

Yes! Golf: the George Clooney of sports events. You know? Gets better with age. Now you try? Anyway, I wanted to post this a long time ago! Since most of you know, some dumbass decided to hack the site and has thrown everything off a bit. It went a little something like this…. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Super Bowl XLVII-Die Hards v. Bandwagon fans

Yeah! My 49ers are in the Super Bowl. I am very excited – but, for REAL. I was born and raised a San Francisco 49er fan and cheer them on win, lose, or draw. I have never been a fair-weather fan. Actually, I am not fond of bandwagon jumpers, period.  Sure, it sucked standing outside last year in a full body sized, clear, condom, doubling as a rain parka with ripped pockets allowing the pouring rain in and soaking (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Do you Twit or Tweet?

I decided to take my own advice and “put on my big girl panties” and jump into the bloggers universe full force by attending the New Media Expo in Las Vegas. At first, I was a little hesitant to go to the convention, as I am fairly new to the blogosphere and thought that if the people were anything like the people in the music business they were not the friendliest in the world and there would not be much learning….just a lot of partying (which is Ok but I need to learn how to make some money with this… Continue Reading

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Trick or Turn Tricks?

Happy Halloween! I love this holiday and it is not because I can dress like a slut. Halloween reminds me of my childhood and good times with my family; carving pumpkins, eating too much candy (that my mom would sort for me, do parents still care?), (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Dating Category – Humper

Hi, my name is Melany, and my dog is a Humper. This is the first time I have been able to admit it. He humps toys, hands, arms, and sides (he has not started with the leg yet). I went to puppy class yesterday and he mounted the front of a Havanese puppy and proceeded to go at her head. Yes, this is embarrassing and I wanted to crawl under the little red slide attached to the playhouse in the dog training room (do dogs really know what to do with a plastic slide?) (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Beware of Squeaky!

Ring Ring DAMN! Just missed the phone! My initial reaction is if I don’t know the number, I don’t pick it up. If the person wants to talk, they will leave a message and I can call them back, if I actually want to talk to them. Besides, when I went to grab the phone, somehow I pushed all the buttons at the same time and took a picture of my lap, while raising the phone to my ear and saying hello with no one at the other end (I hate that – dumb I phone). Or dumb me, I am blonde…. Continue Reading

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Miss Piggy – Guydline for a better looking USA

Upon returning to Los Angeles from San Francisco via automobile, with Teddy Brewski as co-pilot, a few thoughts popped into my head (there were more than that but don’t want you to know all of them)…. Why does everyone driving long distances look as if they could be relatives of the people from “Fragle Rock”? (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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“Coprophagia” – Guydline from the working world

I try not to blog about dating all the time, but there are so many ridiculously crazy men in this world (it is hard not to tie it back in and tell my crazy dating stories). So, another relationship bites the dust. I don’t know what happened.  The excessive calling, texting, and emails sent and suddenly, nothing. Not even a peep! What this time? (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Felony Melanie

So “hypothetically” speaking, I once knew this girl named Melanie. She was given the name “Felony Melanie” in college. Melanie had several nicknames throughout high school, including “Mel”, “Melba-toast” (lame), “Smelly Mel” (Thanks to her Uncle Ben – you’re an ass) and the one that stuck – “Felony Melanie”. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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PERFECTION!

Hello! Is this thing on? As most of you know, I have been celebrating my Birthday week! Yes, I celebrate for a week because that is how long it took my parents to decide whether they were going to keep or trade me in for another baby (just kidding)! I was the devil’s spawn, an absolutely horrific baby. Can you imagine? I am the easiest person to get along with all the time, right? Anyway, in all of my preparation for this joyous occasion, I broke the first rule of blogging (according to the bloggers bible; Blogging for Idiots) and… Continue Reading

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