Stupid people

The Movie Network: Dedicated To You!

By Melany on May 27, 2014 in Goodies

I do live in LALAland aka Hollywood and everyone here wants to be a star. I meet Writers, Directors, Producers, Actresses, Actors and the combination of all of the above on a daily basis. I hear about so many movies and never really know what is good or bad until I actually see the film. With the advent of social media influencers holding the key to introducing audiences to exciting and great new brands I am happy to introduce you to The Movie Network. The Movie Network is not your average Fandago – type website. You can find local movie… Continue Reading

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Same Old Story: Too Much, Too Skinny, Too Dumb, or Too Too

By Melany on May 27, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Snarky

Random post. I wonder why every time I wear no makeup – I get hit on? But, if I am dressed to the nines guys seem to duck under tables. It is so weird. Does wearing makeup make me unapproachable? Or do guys just really like to pick up on girls that look young? I mean every time I am sans makeup I get carded. Thank you – this is awesome but I am totally confused by it. I get carded without makeup often (even though I think this is a quasi-creepy attempt for the bouncer to get all my… Continue Reading

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Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth Part 2

By Melany on May 5, 2014 in Relationships

And without further ado…..PART 2 to Getting A Second Date: The Real Truth. If you did not read PART 1 – you should! 4. Manners/Doesn’t Know Shit/Full of Shit -She thinks that if she is indecisive and acts like she doesn’t know what to order while at dinner that it makes her date feel more like a man and being courteous to his wallet. Unfortunately, the only thing this does is annoy him and makes him want to jump out the nearest window (which is nearby their “best” table he has so cleverly arranged with the host while being early)…. Continue Reading

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Online Dating Nightmare #1,199

By Melany on April 21, 2014 in Relationships

Hope you all had more fun than I did yesterday. As some of you know, a virus has totally infected AOL in their server. Before, you make some smart-ass comment let me say that I have had AOL since I was 15. It was “MelB” but I hated the spice girls so that was not the premise behind the username. Anyway, I HIGHLY suggest you change passwords and keep up to date with old emails or accounts on websites. For the average person, this is annoying. For me it is a nightmare! Obviously, working in social media means I have… Continue Reading

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Happy Whatever Holiday You Celebrate Without Me Insulting You!

By Melany on April 16, 2014 in Snarky

I can’t believe it is already hump day, the middle of spring break for you lucky young people, 2 days into the trek through the desert for those who eat unleavened bread, and almost hipity-hopity time! I just bought some Bamboo plants at Lowes (they are good luck plants because they barely need to be watered to survive -this is already good luck in my book) and saw eggs that actually hatch flowers. I want one. I mean I do! How cool -eggs that hatch flowers. I either need sleep or need to get out more if eggs entertain me… Continue Reading

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16 Things Not To Do At (Any/Social Media) Conference

By Melany on April 2, 2014 in Greatest Hits, Snarky

1. Not knowing your competition. Know if anyone is dominating your niche in the market. I am 70% sure there may be someone doing what you think you have created. Can’t you hear Drunk Uncle from SNL saying “I’m prrrrrrrreetttttyyyy suuuuuurrrrrree…..” someone is already doing that? Do your research! 2. Do not wear high heels during the day so you look like a wounded stork walking through the hotel. This will make people notice you but not in a good way and then you can’t attend the rest of the conference and have to call in wounded the second day…. Continue Reading

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When Animals Attack: Dating Interference

By Melany on February 19, 2014 in Relationships

The Shorty Awards nominations are over and I hope I did not miss the honor by one spot. I will be ok with it (I will not, but my vodka is chilling and ready for consumption at 4:59PM to soothe my soul -just in case). Stay tuned as they are calculating right NOW! If I did not win, I am convinced outside forces in which I had no control over affected the outcome. Animals. You know? When animals attack? In the past week, I had interference from all of the following “animals”, which prevented proper promoting, blogging, (and successful… Continue Reading

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Bitch on Plane & Graziano Mob Wives Meat Cleavers?

By Melany on January 10, 2014 in Relationships

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Hello, hello! I am back in LALAland and just in time to rock out to some 80’s rock n’ roll tonight! Stephen Pearcy from Ratt and roll is playing at the Whisky and how could I miss it? Well I am not! I lucked out and jumped on an earlier plane yesterday so that I could get home and apply all the new social media and blogging knowledge to this blog! Of course, I had a lady on my plane who thought that she was the only person on the aircraft. She was no Alec… Continue Reading

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Being Single for the Holidays-Yeah?!

By Melany on December 23, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Happy holidays MG fans! Wishing you the most wonderful holiday (whatever holiday it is that you celebrate without offending you). A fellow blogger asked me to write a piece about what it is like being single during the holidays and I know a thing or two about this topic (unfortunately or fortunately). Thanks Karen -for the great topic. This is one of my favorites! In a perfect world I would love to have a kickass companion, boyfriend, mate, or husband along with a perfectly trained dog to spend the holidays with (aren’t they the same? No? Oh). In… Continue Reading

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Dating Hall of Shame VIP

By Melany on December 16, 2013 in Relationships

Here is a SUPER special (I mean SPECIAL, but not in a good way) nod to this dipshit into the Dating Hall of Shame VIP Platinum club! I have to give this guy an A+ for effort and an F for being the F@#$#@ing most oblivious and annoying online and texting dater ever! DUDE – get a clue! I have not answered 1 text from you EVER and the first one here was dated back in September. If I didn’t live in LA, I would probably be married to a huge, successful, fantastic, man by now. We could be living… Continue Reading

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Back in LALAland: Hollyweird

By Melany on December 11, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

While you are reading this, there is a good possibility that I am still waiting for YouTube to upload a 5 minute video. You would think in this day and age I would just have to clap and it would be uploaded. You know like the clapper? Clap on, clap off. WTF is going on here? So, while I wait for one of the most painful experiences in life (waiting for a telephone/internet/cable repair man to show up and fix something properly the first time) you are going to have to watch this video I snuck through the internet waves… Continue Reading

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Melany’s Movember Mutterings

By Melany on November 19, 2013 in LOL, Snarky

I have had a very busy week and wanted to blog about some of the highlights and things I observed along the way. These may be a bit random but welcome to the inner workings of my overactive brain. -Gyms are weird. People do strange things there. Like jump onto machines and look uncoordinated and uncomfortable performing physical motions at inappropriate speeds. When these motions look as they are injuring several parts of their bodies, it probably is injuring several parts of their bodies. If you look like a spaz on the machine, I am sure that you end up… Continue Reading

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