snarky

Melanysguydlines for a Shorty Award: Blogger

By Melany on January 29, 2014 in Goodies

I need to win a Shorty award because I am short! I am also – funny and snarky….or so I am told. Shorty Awards acknowledge the best is social media and this is right up my alley You know? Snarky is witty but younger and better looking!? This blog is my cathartic outlet and I use laughter as the best medicine. I am so excited and honored to have been nominated over 130 times in the blogger category (even got a few in Comedian but blogger is what I want). Thank you! There are a bunch of other snarky reasons… Continue Reading

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Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

By Melany on December 31, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Happy New Year! Welcome 2014! I am so happy that I am not going to be hung-over, broke, waking up next to a goat or hungry from celebrating getting ripped off on New Years Eve (aka amateur hour). Not sure what the fascination is about going out to celebrate a day in the month of a calendar with 365 days? Yes, I realize that I sound like my parents. Cheers to getting another year older, wiser, and a little bit more in love with my couch. Shouldn’t we celebrate everyday? I know some of you reading this may be drunk,… Continue Reading

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Happy Holidays, Congrats & Giveaways for 2014!

By Melany on December 27, 2013 in Goodies

Happy “weird days between Christmas and New Years Day where no one is really working” and I missed the memo! I just realized that I have been working for the last two hours without the sweet tunes of Tesla or Ratt in my ears so I am going to make this short and sweet (like Teddy Brewski and I). Congratulations to Laurel from WA! She is the winner of the Kindle Fire HD! I am so stoked for her! Thank you to EVERYONE who entered, supported, commented, liked, followed, and rocked this contest! I am on my way to send… Continue Reading

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Being Single for the Holidays-Yeah?!

By Melany on December 23, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Happy holidays MG fans! Wishing you the most wonderful holiday (whatever holiday it is that you celebrate without offending you). A fellow blogger asked me to write a piece about what it is like being single during the holidays and I know a thing or two about this topic (unfortunately or fortunately). Thanks Karen -for the great topic. This is one of my favorites! In a perfect world I would love to have a kickass companion, boyfriend, mate, or husband along with a perfectly trained dog to spend the holidays with (aren’t they the same? No? Oh). In… Continue Reading

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Dating Hall of Shame VIP

By Melany on December 16, 2013 in Relationships

Here is a SUPER special (I mean SPECIAL, but not in a good way) nod to this dipshit into the Dating Hall of Shame VIP Platinum club! I have to give this guy an A+ for effort and an F for being the F@#$#@ing most oblivious and annoying online and texting dater ever! DUDE – get a clue! I have not answered 1 text from you EVER and the first one here was dated back in September. If I didn’t live in LA, I would probably be married to a huge, successful, fantastic, man by now. We could be living… Continue Reading

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Thanksgiving 2013 – Thanks & almost full

By Melany on November 28, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

So, it is time for me to write another Thanksgiving post. I can’t believe that I have been writing this blog long enough and with success to be able to do another installment of “What I am thankful for….” 2014 installment. I wish I could say this year has been easy but it has not. I work my ass off everyday on this entertainment thing and am so proud of what I have accomplished. I wish more people would actively support! Every bit helps. Yeah – I am talking to you and YOU! So, like, thumbs up, share, subscribe, and… Continue Reading

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Melany’s Movember Mutterings

By Melany on November 19, 2013 in LOL, Snarky

I have had a very busy week and wanted to blog about some of the highlights and things I observed along the way. These may be a bit random but welcome to the inner workings of my overactive brain. -Gyms are weird. People do strange things there. Like jump onto machines and look uncoordinated and uncomfortable performing physical motions at inappropriate speeds. When these motions look as they are injuring several parts of their bodies, it probably is injuring several parts of their bodies. If you look like a spaz on the machine, I am sure that you end up… Continue Reading

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Boot Camp: Dogs, Frienemies, Unfollowers, & Assholes

By Melany on November 13, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

I posted another video for your viewing pleasure. My educated guess is that more people like watching 3-4 minute clips of my animated self than reading 500-750 plus words of carefully, detailed, humorous stories. That’s Ok. I can be included in this majority sometimes so I won’t hold it against you. People always ask what my blog/vlog is about? It is humor people! Snarky humor! While on my vacation (what a joke – have not had one day without and appointment since I have been here) I took advantage of an amazing dog training school opportunity for my beloved Teddy… Continue Reading

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Guys Can be Sloppy Drunky-poo too!

By Melany on November 8, 2013 in Dummies, Snarky

Some things just need a YouTube video and this story is one of them. This is not the correct way to get a date ladies and gentlemen. I would like to set the record straight that girls are not the only people that get sloppy drunk. Guys do too and it is not a good look. Beware of sloppy guys picking up on girls and snarky girls messing with drunky-poo guys while doing so. It was just too fun not to mess with, “blue guy, green, striped guy, plaid guy” and I had to and share with all of you…. Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween aka Dress like a slut day!

By Melany on October 30, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Ho Ho Ho – Don’t be a Ho on Halloween. It is not cute. For this blog post I am going to break down what to wear and what not to wear on Halloween in my YouTube video. I mean, if you are a slut you do not need to wait for Halloween to dress like one. But, please spare me the bikini tops when you are flat as a board unless you are signaling Ms. Miley Cyrus. Also, in this video I will address the well known “frienemy” epidemic which plagues most women. Don’t be one of them! Watch,… Continue Reading

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Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

By Melany on October 4, 2013 in Relationships

Since I started writing this blog, many people ask me so many questions regarding relationships, dating and online dating. I never said I was a certified expert in dating or relationships but I have a hell of a lot of experience in this arena (unfortunately)! I have dated every idiot from the top to the bottom of California (a little in Arizona, Washington, Texas, Florida and New York but who is keeping track?) and am looking for someone to save me from the horrible dating party and online dating predicament I am in! I am not a certified relationship expert… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines on YouTube – Snarky, Golden Nuggets of Twitter

By Melany on October 3, 2013 in Relationships

Hello people! So, I always said that I would never be in front of the camera. Well, I lied. I will admit it when I do. If I can’t criticize and make fun of myself then I should not be writing this snarky blog. Should I? I admit that my dating mishaps and relationship blunders are a good reason that I was given this outlet to spout, so why not put a face and voice to my golden nuggets of “guydlines” for you? Right? Welcome to the Melanysguydlines snarky world of YouTube. I am excited to show you this first try… Continue Reading

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