I try not to blog about dating all the time, but there are so many ridiculously crazy men in this world (it is hard not to tie it back in and tell my crazy dating stories). So, another relationship bites the dust. I don’t know what happened. The excessive calling, texting, and emails sent and suddenly, nothing. Not even a peep! What this time? (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
A few people think my honesty is a bit too honest! It is not going to stop me……I’M BACK (with even more wisdom and crazier funny true stories)!! (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
“And God promised men That good and obedient wives would be Found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round….and laughed and laughed and laughed…” …….and I laughed, and laughed and laughed because I have come to the conclusion that the more men I date, the more “de-masculinized” (not a word, but should be) they are and that in fact I am not the one that is emasculating them, they are taking care of that all on their own. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
Sorry that I have been gone for so long, but I have a new boyfriend! Click here to vote for the right guy! (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, make me a match, and don’t make him a snatch. Please don’t show me a picture of a man wearing a black top hot, holding a cane (and try to convince me that he is cute-when it is not) or ask me if I would go on a date with the FATHER of a guy I did not want to date because HE looked too old for me (so of course his FATHER is WAY too old for me, OBVIOUSLY). I don’t want to date a man who weighs more than “Free Willy”, and… Continue Reading
One day, I was working in my living room and all of a sudden hear a man’s voice saying “hello,” which was so scary considering I live alone. I look around and slowly move down the hall to my kitchen and say “hello” in a very timid, little voice. I hear “hello” again and get really scared. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
So “hypothetically” speaking, I once knew this girl named Melanie. She was given the name “Felony Melanie” in college. Melanie had several nicknames throughout high school, including “Mel”, “Melba-toast” (lame), “Smelly Mel” (Thanks to her Uncle Ben – you’re an ass) and the one that stuck – “Felony Melanie”. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
Workout #1 complete following successful Bday celebrations (a.k.a. celebrations lasted way too long and was part of the process of taking years off my life). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
Attending the University of Arizona for college provided me with a lot of (great looking, TAN) friends and CRAZY (legendary) stories for my blog. One of my favorite funny true stories occurred during Freshman orientation.. I was just 18 years old, but the events that transpired during this weekend introduced me to THE (BEST PARTY) school and gave me a preview to my lifetime of unbelievable (somewhat incriminating) experiences with some truly AMAZING party people! (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
So, many of you are probably wondering when my relationship with drama began? It loves me and I guess I love it (maybe that is why I am still single?) Lets take it WAY back? What do you think? (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
So, now that I have lost yet another Facebook Friend, (I am sure it is one of the John’s on my friend list or probably his sister) I am going to share another funny dating story that will not insult anyone (hopefully). I know that I had one police officer as a friend (but I think he is in jail) and does not count anymore (right?). Of course, I dated this guy for a split second until I noticed that he constantly referred to himself in the third person. He was a struggling actor (waiter) in LA and had “the… Continue Reading
It pains me to tell you, John (if that is even your name) but I must move on without you in my life. I want to thank you for having a complete mental breakdown in my apartment (because it alerted me that you need some professional help and the need for this letter). I just texted you my therapist’s name and number and he will be expecting your call. He DEFINITELY knows who you are and that I referred you (I get $100 off for every person I refer, so I am getting free therapy for at least the next… Continue Reading
