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Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

Since I started writing this blog, many people ask me so many questions regarding relationships, dating and online dating. I never said I was a certified expert in dating or relationships but I have a hell of a lot of experience in this arena (unfortunately)! I have dated every idiot from the top to the bottom of California (a little in Arizona, Washington, Texas, Florida and New York but who is keeping track?) and am looking for someone to save me from the horrible dating party and online dating predicament I am in! I am not a certified relationship expert… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines on YouTube – Snarky, Golden Nuggets of Twitter

Melanysguydline You tube

Hello people! So, I always said that I would never be in front of the camera. Well, I lied. I will admit it when I do. If I can’t criticize and make fun of myself then I should not be writing this snarky blog. Should I? I admit that my dating mishaps and relationship blunders are a good reason that I was given this outlet to spout, so why not put a face and voice to my golden nuggets of “guydlines” for you? Right? Welcome to the Melanysguydlines snarky world of YouTube. I am excited to show you this first try… Continue Reading

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Funny Dating Advice: Tips From The Blogging Trenches

blogging isnt easy and dating isnt easy

Blogging is a lot like a relationship. There are many things to learn and it does not come easy. (Maybe I need to listen to my funny dating advice and learn from my own relationship tips-just a thought?) Anyway, blogging doesn’t just consist of writing alone just like dating does not consist of going out to dinner with no desert. Blogging and social media are very special relationships. Each blog and social medium has unique characteristics, which make him or her one of a kind and special. Special, like the way you are supposed make your date feel. Not all… Continue Reading

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Funny Relationship Stories: Sporty Sports Chick

Funny relationship stories come in many creative forms and I am a bit of a whiz at relating most parts of my life back to funny relationship stories. Recently, I was asked by a fellow blogger to write a guest post about being a “sporty chick” and how it relates to my life today. Well, I give funny relationship advice and write about funny relationship stories, but here is a post all about funny life experiences. Of course, I have to relate all of my “sportiness” back to funny relationship stories and what would my post be if it weren’t… Continue Reading

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How to Party Like a Surfer: Don’t Yell & Leave Your Shoes At Home

Last weekend, I got a sudden urge and decided to pack (way too much and the problem with that, is unpacking sucks) put Teddy Brewski with his friends at day/night camp (I swear he has more friends than I do) and drive down to Huntington Beach for the US Open of Surfing. No one told me that I should not leave LA proper after 2:00PM because it would take me two and a half hours to get to the beach in traffic. But, so what? I am a great DJ and I knew there were clean beaches, sun, and surfers… Continue Reading

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Working Relationships in Hollywood: Top 12 things I LOL’d on the Boulevard

Each day, I am privileged to witness very strange relationships in Hollywood– oh LA, LA, land! Reviewing this list it is no wonder why I have so many online dating stories and remain single in the land of the stars. I am always surprised or maybe humorously entertained watching the people up and down the Boulevard. With these kinds of observations wouldn’t you want to live here? Or at least stay for a while? Promise you will never be bored and probably remain single as well. Let’s take a look at the top 12 snarky, funny things I was lucky… Continue Reading

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Are you a video star? Enter for your chance to win up to $15,000 in CASH!

I get a lot of weird PR requests for the blog, Twitter and Facebook and it takes me a long time to go through all of them. Some of them are just ridiculous. Seriously –I will revisit this at another time. Talking about getting requests regarding topics like Hitler, aliens, fat burning wraps, bullying, depression, mental illness and so much more. I mean – do these PR people read my blog? Not snarky and not humorous topics. Do your research PR people. But, no matter how weird the request are I pride myself on replying to each and every one… Continue Reading

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Twitter Follower Appreciation pt. 2 : 5,000!

Twitter Birds

OK kids, as promised it’s time to throw a bone to the best friends a blog could ask for — our snarky Twitter followers!  Last month we put together a little thank you once we reached the 3,000 benchmark.  This time, you’ve stepped it up a notch with your love & loyalty, so we’ll reciprocate.  In 2013, so it’s only polite to throw heaps of praise at individuals we’ll never meet.  Did I develop crushes on some of you while I scoured your accounts for funny tweets? It’s possible…. Without further ado, our Melany’s Guydlines Twitter showcase, round 2. Five… Continue Reading

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You Can’t Wash This Potty Mouth Out With Soap

It’s 3 AM.  You’re tired, you’re groggy, and it feels like someone is hammering an ice pick into your bladder.  You stumble out of the comfort of your bed, wandering your hallway like zombie on Walking Dead.  You find the bathroom and find that familiar feel of cold porcelain against your derrière.  Then you drop, what feels like 20 feet, because someone left the seat up.  You’re lucky you’re over a toilet because your built in sprinkler system might have gone off.  The truth is, stories like this occur everyday.  And those suffering PTTE, post-traumatic toilet experience, are wondering if… Continue Reading

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Snarky thank you to you snarky bitches!

Well, I made it through another birthday celebration with only 1 more wrinkle, right? Life has been a crazy roller coaster ride and I am not sure which out of my 9 lives I am on, but they are getting more entertaining each and every day. Thank you again for all the love and snarky support for my blog! You all rock! I know that I have a lot of pics of Mel G on here so I thought I would invite you to see some actual photos of my friends and moi. Oh, and some kick ass shoes too…. Continue Reading

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A Salute to Our Favorite Twitter Followers!

Tonight, Melany’s Guydlines (@melanyb12) will hit 3,000 followers, and we here at the office are shamelessly proud.  What’s better than having scores of hilarious “friends” to bolster your internet notoriety?  It’s 2013 man, if you don’t have an online posse, you’re a nobody. Seriously though, we’ve been lucky enough to read some funny shit thanks to some snarky virtual companions.  From this point forward we’re going to make a habit of throwing some of our favorite twitter accounts a bone to show our appreciation for your follow. Five Followers That Crack Us Up @chucklesdowner Take your old rickety tweet from… Continue Reading

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Spoof on Hot Guy Marketing Trend- Meet Josh Button

Before you embark on your long Memorial Day weekend festivities, I wanted to leave you with a big smile on your face and I know exactly how to do that! This may be my favorite request so far and I could not turn down this opportunity. I am single (still)! Here you go….. Introducing, Josh Button – model, spicy food addict, dog lover, and a HOT GUY. I’m sure you’ve noticed all of the companies using hot guys to market to women, even when their products don’t seem to require a hot guy.  DIET Dr Pepper’s new spot, “Josh Button,”… Continue Reading

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