holidays

Memorial Day 2014

By Melany on May 26, 2014 in Relationships

Memorial Day 2014. Remember that today is about more than BBQ’s and pool parties. Today is a day to remember and thank all of those who have served and continue to serve the United States of America. I am grateful everyday to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. So, if you know someone that served or is currently serving to provide you with all of the freedom we sometimes take for granted – remember, a thank you goes a long way! Enjoy the rest of this holiday and be safe out there while… Continue Reading

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Win Total $325 from Tego Audio: Wireless Speaker + Power Grid for 3 Winners

By Melany on May 22, 2014 in Goodies

Happy almost Memorial Day weekend and the official kick off to summer 2014! I am not sure if my last trip out of town fried my brain from staring at slot machines too long but I thought we still had one more week until my fav BBQ weekend. Well, we don’t and it is here. I better go get my chicken from Costco before they run out. Seriously, I literally just got back from Las Vegas and am leaving my clean clothes and accessories in my suitcase since I will be right back on a plane to rock out to… Continue Reading

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Bikini Time: Enter To Win $165 from Lululemon

By Melany on April 25, 2014 in Goodies

I am partnering up with one of my favorite bloggers from HeleneInBetween to give you the opportunity to win $165 to Lululemon so you can make sure that you rock those itsy, bitsy bikinis in style (but please leave the makeup at home)! Read below to enter and win! GOOD LUCK and happy almost summer! Now, all I need is a drink with a little umbrella in it (but not too sweet a drink)…..oh, and a nice travel companion. While you are at it – check out some of the other ladies in the giveaway! Now, get to the gym!… Continue Reading

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Happy Whatever Holiday You Celebrate Without Me Insulting You!

By Melany on April 16, 2014 in Snarky

I can’t believe it is already hump day, the middle of spring break for you lucky young people, 2 days into the trek through the desert for those who eat unleavened bread, and almost hipity-hopity time! I just bought some Bamboo plants at Lowes (they are good luck plants because they barely need to be watered to survive -this is already good luck in my book) and saw eggs that actually hatch flowers. I want one. I mean I do! How cool -eggs that hatch flowers. I either need sleep or need to get out more if eggs entertain me… Continue Reading

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Mel’s Hits & Misses Valentines Day 2014-PART 1

By Melany on February 5, 2014 in Goodies

It is that time of year and since people think I am some sort of a relationship expert –ish, I have received many awesome and not so awesome product reviews/requests. I wish my dating prospects were as good as some of these items. I hope my chubby, cherub a.k.a. cupid has been going to the shooting range. I will pay for him to have lessons to improve his aim and stop hitting all the asses of assholes. At this point, I would rather have Ted…..ehh Teddy Brewski than any other prospects. Cupid – you listening? 1. Ted Doll (I found… Continue Reading

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Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

By Melany on December 31, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Happy New Year! Welcome 2014! I am so happy that I am not going to be hung-over, broke, waking up next to a goat or hungry from celebrating getting ripped off on New Years Eve (aka amateur hour). Not sure what the fascination is about going out to celebrate a day in the month of a calendar with 365 days? Yes, I realize that I sound like my parents. Cheers to getting another year older, wiser, and a little bit more in love with my couch. Shouldn’t we celebrate everyday? I know some of you reading this may be drunk,… Continue Reading

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Happy Holidays, Congrats & Giveaways for 2014!

By Melany on December 27, 2013 in Goodies

Happy “weird days between Christmas and New Years Day where no one is really working” and I missed the memo! I just realized that I have been working for the last two hours without the sweet tunes of Tesla or Ratt in my ears so I am going to make this short and sweet (like Teddy Brewski and I). Congratulations to Laurel from WA! She is the winner of the Kindle Fire HD! I am so stoked for her! Thank you to EVERYONE who entered, supported, commented, liked, followed, and rocked this contest! I am on my way to send… Continue Reading

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Being Single for the Holidays-Yeah?!

By Melany on December 23, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Happy holidays MG fans! Wishing you the most wonderful holiday (whatever holiday it is that you celebrate without offending you). A fellow blogger asked me to write a piece about what it is like being single during the holidays and I know a thing or two about this topic (unfortunately or fortunately). Thanks Karen -for the great topic. This is one of my favorites! In a perfect world I would love to have a kickass companion, boyfriend, mate, or husband along with a perfectly trained dog to spend the holidays with (aren’t they the same? No? Oh). In… Continue Reading

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Color Me Bad: Naughty or Nice

By Melany on December 5, 2013 in LALA Land, Snarky

Hello MG fans. So, I have been slammed since my return from Arizona and the holiday season madness. I am doing my best to catch up with publicist requests, tinder matches (separate blog post for this and there are more perverts to be discovered every day), training Teddy Brewski, thinking of YouTube videos for your viewing pleasure, not eating the entire house, and needing a wheelbarrow to go to the gym. As I have mentioned to you in the past, I will only write about things publicists send me that I find interesting and funny. About a month ago, two… Continue Reading

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Thanksgiving 2013 – Thanks & almost full

By Melany on November 28, 2013 in Fans, Snarky

So, it is time for me to write another Thanksgiving post. I can’t believe that I have been writing this blog long enough and with success to be able to do another installment of “What I am thankful for….” 2014 installment. I wish I could say this year has been easy but it has not. I work my ass off everyday on this entertainment thing and am so proud of what I have accomplished. I wish more people would actively support! Every bit helps. Yeah – I am talking to you and YOU! So, like, thumbs up, share, subscribe, and… Continue Reading

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Worst date idea: 4th of July while shoving your face & doing other unattractive things

By Melany on July 4, 2013 in Relationships

Happy Fourth of July to all of my Melanysguydlines.com readers! Thank you for your support and being the best readers ever! A few dating tips for you on this day of fireworks and bad eating! Always remember to stay snarky. Here are few reasons why the Fourth of July is not the best idea for a first date! Take these guydlines and trust me- I have experience in the dating arena (unfortunately). 1. Don’t ever use the pick up line “You want to make fireworks with me?” unless it is on Twitter because you can get away with saying anything… Continue Reading

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Money Date in Vegas – Valentines Day

By Melany on February 13, 2013 in Relationships

Here is a little piece I wrote for Travelvegas.com. Now, these are what I call great Valentines Dates! HELLO – YOU! Are you ready to be my Valentine this year? Come on! I don’t always bite (only unless you ask). These dates will get you where you want to go. Trust me and take notes! I am accepting applications now. GO! (Hopefully it will not take me that long to get a GREAT date). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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