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Matt’s Guydlines to Being a Rock Star (Pt. 2 – The Hair)

Alright people, round 2.  In the month or so since Pt. 1 – The Instrument was published, you should have been able to master your weapon of choice.  Remember, talent is a negligible factor in this equation.  Strap on that stringed conundrum and get your ass in front of a mirror.  Work on your stance, eyebrow gestures and hip gyrations.  Once everything is complementing each other in a hyper-sexualized communion, it’s time to tackle one of the most untamable elements of your rock persona – The Hair. If there’s one steadfast piece of advice I can impart on you in… Continue Reading

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MG’s Billboard Music Awards Recap

I’ll be completely honest with you, I had absolutely no plans of the Billboard Music Awards even registering on my conscious this morning.  On occasion, I’ll pull up the award results in the days following and snicker at media I’ve never consumed earning trophies for their supposed brilliance.  A few awards will always carry some social significance – the Grammy, the Oscar, or the Emmy – and even a few performances have managed to carve out some space in my memory.  For the most part, however, we’re thrown corporate fodder at a runtime well north of a Yankees/Red Sox game…. Continue Reading

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Strange Celebrity Endorsements : Headphones

It’s no secret that branding makes the world go round.  On a daily basis, we’re exposed to up to 20,000 marketing messages, and most pass right under our nose without us even realizing it.  There’s the obvious ones, like the clothes we wear or the car we drive.  But how about the laundry list of celebrity hot sauces?  Or Shannon Doherty pledging the merits of an online education?  I know my dog only eats food that passed Rachael Ray’s rigorous quality standards. For whatever reason, one product that has become synonymous with the celebrity endorsement in recent years are the headphones…. Continue Reading

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Hairstyles of the Stressed Celebrity

Like a naturally occurring phenomenon, it looks like we have another celebrity meltdown on our hands.  The sudden collapse of Amanda Bynes is predictable, yet fascinating.  Of course, these things aren’t actually a force of nature, but a product of our perpetual infatuation with stars, particularly those we watch grow up in front of our eyes.  Recall your awkward teenage years?  Imagine if every day, that stage was under a microscope for snarky housewives to digest like rice cakes.  I stumble through cases of writers block without the pressures of constant public attention, so imagine how it must feel to… Continue Reading

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This Rocks – Monster Energy Outbreak College Nor/So Cal dates

As most of you know, my heart pumps to the beat of music and I bleed rock n roll! My background is rock music and I have been blessed to work with some very cool (and some not so cool) bands along the way. I know you enjoy reading about my trials and tribulations working in music business and I can tell you that there are a lot more blog posts about past music experiences to follow. But, one of the coolest parts about this blogging journey is that new and amazing opportunities present themselves each and every day. Some… Continue Reading

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Matt’s Guydlines to Being a Rock Star (Pt. 1 : The Instrument)

I fell down another internet rabbit hole the other night, you guys.  I never can remember where these things start, but I can tell you roughly where it ended before I passed out with a pile of jelly beans in the little makeshift crib of my jacket.  It’s worth noting that Kobe Bryant has played an exponentially more significant role in my life since I’ve moved to Los Angeles.  So it’s not totally random that I read this ridiculously compelling article on Grantland about Kobe’s attempt at a rap career.  He’s definitely not the first athlete (or actor, politician etc.)… Continue Reading

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Van Halen in Las Vegas: I am with the band

Ah Las Vegas! I have spent many days and nights in my favorite city doing all types of unimaginable things. One of my most memorable “vacays” in sin city was not a vacation at all. When I worked in the illustrious music business, marketing rock bands, I was presented with an offer “to work” a show that I could not refuse. I am talking about Van Halen people. You know who they are, right? Well, one of the first tours I ever had the privilege of working on was Van Halen (not with Diamond Dave but with the Red Rocker… Continue Reading

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Bodyguard or Photobomb?

Lindsey Lohan

Living in southern California means a lot of things; we do yoga, juice cleanses, we’re ‘sooo chillllll’, but mostly it means that we get to see celebrities on the reg. It’s not unusual to see Justin Bieber speeding around Calabasas or Slash eating sushi at Katsuya. Well a couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to spot the one and only, disheveled Lindsay Lohan partying at a club in San Diego. The good thing about being in with the industry is knowing the promoters, bouncers and all of the bottle services girls who have the inside scoop. I was out… Continue Reading

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The “Blondetourage” welcomes the Dark Side -Emily S.

There is more exciting news for Melanysguydlines.com this week! Not only were we chosen to be a part of Blogads Network; home to Perez Hilton, Lamebook, Dlisted, and Popoholic but we have added a new blogger. What makes our new blogger, Emily S. different from the rest? She is a brunette (but we won’t hold that against her because blondes totally have more fun) and she is a Los Angeles native. She brings us some juicy dirt on growing up in the entertainment business – the good, the bad, and the plain weird. We got along from the start as… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines.com Team: Snarky true life experts

Snarky team of melanysguydlines.com

Yesterday, the Melanysguydlines.com team met for the fist time at the Roosevelt Hotel Pool in Hollywood for a windy and long lunch (with beer and grey goose sodas). I am so proud of what has been accomplished here in under a year! This process has been hard work but I am starting to see it pay off! I hope that you have enjoyed my journey thus far and continue to laugh with us about the stupidity of people, craziness of life, chaos of dating and navigating this totally trippy world with a huge helping of snark. Life is too hard… Continue Reading

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Foo Fighters: Wins for no talent, bad chops, & worst band name ever!

I was not impressed or excited to hear that Dave Grohl was talking and playing  SXSW in Austin, which is one of the biggest music festivals of the year. I just don’t get it. The rock n’ roll community needs to step up and embrace real musicians and good music. Just wander into any bar in Austin, and I guarantee you will find more talent than the Foo Fighters. I saw a girl weighing 95 lbs (soaking wet) rock a bar and schlep a bass around the perimeter for hours during her set. She sang too (and well). Or, what… Continue Reading

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Rock! Rock! Til You Drop

Bring back rock n roll!

The week of Passover and Easter is upon us and I really need some rock n’ roll in my life right now. That ALWAYS seems to (almost) cure feelings of disappointment in the people and situations around me. This year is no different; it is TIME to go back to Las Vegas for Def Leppard in my ears and rock in my veins. One thing is for sure; they were no one hit wonder! (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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