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“Coprophagia” – Guydline from the working world

I try not to blog about dating all the time, but there are so many ridiculously crazy men in this world (it is hard not to tie it back in and tell my crazy dating stories). So, another relationship bites the dust. I don’t know what happened.  The excessive calling, texting, and emails sent and suddenly, nothing. Not even a peep! What this time? **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Words of wisdom regarding e-masculating men…..

“And God promised men That good and obedient wives would be Found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round….and laughed and laughed and laughed…” …….and I laughed, and laughed and laughed because I have come to the conclusion that the more men I date, the more “de-masculinized” (not a word, but should be) they are and that in fact I am not the one that is emasculating them, they are taking care of that all on their own. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Matchmaker, Matchmaker – No more nightmare dates!

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, make me a match, and don’t make him a snatch. Please don’t show me a picture of a man wearing a black top hot, holding a cane (and try to convince me that he is cute-when it is not) or ask me if I would go on a date with the FATHER of a guy I did not want to date because HE looked too old for me (so of course his FATHER is WAY too old for me, OBVIOUSLY). I don’t want to date a man who weighs more than “Free Willy”, and… Continue Reading

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Internet Dating – Some Do’s and Dont’s

One day, I was working in my living room and all of a sudden hear a man’s voice saying “hello,” which was so scary considering I live alone. I look around and slowly move down the hall to my kitchen and say “hello” in a very timid, little voice. I hear “hello” again and get really scared. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Dating – The laws for a guide to a perfect relationship!

So, now that I have lost yet another Facebook Friend, (I am sure it is one of the John’s on my friend list or probably his sister) I am going to share another funny dating story that will not insult anyone (hopefully). I know that I had one police officer as a friend (but I think he is in jail) and does not count anymore (right?). Of course, I dated this guy for a split second until I noticed that he constantly referred to himself in the third person. He was a struggling actor (waiter) in LA and had “the… Continue Reading

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Dear John – The relationship “letter” for my ex-boyfriend

It pains me to tell you, John (if that is even your name) but I must move on without you in my life. I want to thank you for having a complete mental breakdown in my apartment (because it alerted me that you need some professional help and the need for this letter). I just texted you my therapist’s name and number and he will be expecting your call. He DEFINITELY knows who you are and that I referred you (I get $100 off for every person I refer, so I am getting free therapy for at least the next… Continue Reading

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Dear John

Dear John, This funny dating story is entertaining to me because I just ran into ex-boyfriend #2 from last year after not seeing, hearing, or receiving smoke signals of his existence for almost a year! For ex-boyfriend #2 , we will call him John. I think that protects him enough. I mean come on John, and when I saw him he was running so fast that he was probably being chased by the police, another girl, huge man from the Castro named Fifi who wanted his money back or by someone else he sold his pretend life story too.  So, he… Continue Reading

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Y ???

There is one person I did not hear from this Birthday, my ex-boyfriend (he must have missed my last few blog entries). I wasn’t expecting to hear from him, but it is always interesting who crawls out of the woodwork on days like Birthdays. But, I did run into last year’s ex-boyfriend #2 and that funny blog story will follow after ex-boyfriend # 1. It begins a bit like a bad joke. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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