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Snarky

Golf: the George Clooney of sports events

Yes! Golf: the George Clooney of sports events. You know? Gets better with age. Now you try? Anyway, I wanted to post this a long time ago! Since most of you know, some dumbass decided to hack the site and has thrown everything off a bit. It went a little something like this…. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Super Bowl XLVII-Die Hards v. Bandwagon fans

Yeah! My 49ers are in the Super Bowl. I am very excited – but, for REAL. I was born and raised a San Francisco 49er fan and cheer them on win, lose, or draw. I have never been a fair-weather fan. Actually, I am not fond of bandwagon jumpers, period.  Sure, it sucked standing outside last year in a full body sized, clear, condom, doubling as a rain parka with ripped pockets allowing the pouring rain in and soaking **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Do you Twit or Tweet?

I decided to take my own advice and “put on my big girl panties” and jump into the bloggers universe full force by attending the New Media Expo in Las Vegas. At first, I was a little hesitant to go to the convention, as I am fairly new to the blogosphere and thought that if the people were anything like the people in the music business they were not the friendliest in the world and there would not be much learning….just a lot of partying (which is Ok but I need to learn how to make some money with this… Continue Reading

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Good Riddance 2012

I want to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to make people laugh with melanysguydlines.com.  This single girl blog was created as a result of some of the hardest moments in my life but has served well as MY cathartic outlet. My tag line is that I have lived 9 lives, and I truly have . I have been blessed with loving parents and for that I am most thankful. Each of us has our own struggles and obstacles to overcome. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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“Girl Can’t Help It”

Fa la la la la….la..la..la..la! The inundation of Christmas music from every open orifice in the Los Angeles area makes me think of my beginnings in the music business, though it did not always include the jolliest of feelings. When people ask me what I want to do (when I grow up) I still tell them something involving music. No, I do not want to sing the Driedel song or tell you that imaginary Santa is kissing mom under the Christmas tree (cheating? no wonder there are so many confused men in this world because we give them the wrong… Continue Reading

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Gentlemen know best

There is one more thing I am thankful for that I just barely touched on with my last post. I want to thank EVERYONE who reads my blog and welcome all of the newcomers, especially the fellas. You guys are representing and make up a large part of my readership. It may come as a surprise to some of you that the majority of my readership is men. It is! **Stay snarky my friends!**

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I am most thankful for…..

  I am THANKFUL for: Being raised by the 2 most amazing people who have been supportive through all my 9 lives and taught me never to be scared of my own shadow. Being blessed to have had a sister that I shared everything with and knowing that she is watching over me every day. Having the strength to kick ass literally and figuratively. **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Trick or Turn Tricks?

Happy Halloween! I love this holiday and it is not because I can dress like a slut. Halloween reminds me of my childhood and good times with my family; carving pumpkins, eating too much candy (that my mom would sort for me, do parents still care?), **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Dating Category – Humper

Hi, my name is Melany, and my dog is a Humper. This is the first time I have been able to admit it. He humps toys, hands, arms, and sides (he has not started with the leg yet). I went to puppy class yesterday and he mounted the front of a Havanese puppy and proceeded to go at her head. Yes, this is embarrassing and I wanted to crawl under the little red slide attached to the playhouse in the dog training room (do dogs really know what to do with a plastic slide?) **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Las Vegas – Rock & Lions

Ahhh, Las Vegas! My third home. I was born in a casino (I wasn’t  but with my innate ability to schlep around the Las Vegas strip, casino, hotels and clubs you would think I was). It is like I was born with a map of the MGM casino in my hand. Well, I Just got back from my trip where I went with the intention to rock out like a maniac for 48 hours straight. This was interrupted by a little bump in the road but I rallied as best I know how to make the trip a success! Put on… Continue Reading

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Thanks

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY STORIES. PLEASE PASS ALONG!!!! THE ONLY WAY I CAN CONTINUE BEING FUNNY AND WRITING IS IF I CAN START TO MAKE SOME MONEY AT IT. IF NOT, MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO FIRE ME AND THROW ME OUT ON THE STREET. SO PLEASE PASS ALONG TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS AND ENEMIES (NO LAW ENFORCEMENT PLEASE). I CAN USE ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!!!! **Stay snarky my friends!**

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