Relationships

Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

By Melany on October 4, 2013 in Relationships

Since I started writing this blog, many people ask me so many questions regarding relationships, dating and online dating. I never said I was a certified expert in dating or relationships but I have a hell of a lot of experience in this arena (unfortunately)! I have dated every idiot from the top to the bottom of California (a little in Arizona, Washington, Texas, Florida and New York but who is keeping track?) and am looking for someone to save me from the horrible dating party and online dating predicament I am in! I am not a certified relationship expert… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines on YouTube – Snarky, Golden Nuggets of Twitter

By Melany on October 3, 2013 in Relationships

Hello people! So, I always said that I would never be in front of the camera. Well, I lied. I will admit it when I do. If I can’t criticize and make fun of myself then I should not be writing this snarky blog. Should I? I admit that my dating mishaps and relationship blunders are a good reason that I was given this outlet to spout, so why not put a face and voice to my golden nuggets of “guydlines” for you? Right? Welcome to the Melanysguydlines snarky world of YouTube. I am excited to show you this first try… Continue Reading

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Funny Dating Advice: Tips From The Blogging Trenches

By Melany on September 24, 2013 in Relationships

Blogging is a lot like a relationship. There are many things to learn and it does not come easy. (Maybe I need to listen to my funny dating advice and learn from my own relationship tips-just a thought?) Anyway, blogging doesn’t just consist of writing alone just like dating does not consist of going out to dinner with no desert. Blogging and social media are very special relationships. Each blog and social medium has unique characteristics, which make him or her one of a kind and special. Special, like the way you are supposed make your date feel. Not all… Continue Reading

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Funny Relationship Stories: Sporty Sports Chick

By Melany on September 4, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

Funny relationship stories come in many creative forms and I am a bit of a whiz at relating most parts of my life back to funny relationship stories. Recently, I was asked by a fellow blogger to write a guest post about being a “sporty chick” and how it relates to my life today. Well, I give funny relationship advice and write about funny relationship stories, but here is a post all about funny life experiences. Of course, I have to relate all of my “sportiness” back to funny relationship stories and what would my post be if it weren’t… Continue Reading

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Zynga Sparks Relationships by Gaming

By Melany on July 23, 2013 in Relationships

When I was younger, I used to play games all the time and always had boyfriends or involved in a dating relationship. I had funny relationship advice and relationships stories of some kind because I was always in a relationship! Now, I seem to have bad dating stories or online dating horror stories. Being young and finding potential dates was much easier than it is today. If I wasn’t competing in sports outside hitting or kicking balls, you could find me inside dribbling or volleying other types of balls. All the best looking guys played sports too. I do have… Continue Reading

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Snarky Relationship Tips & Advice: Teddy B Style

By Melany on July 15, 2013 in Greatest Hits, Relationships

snarky relationship tips and advice image

My snarky relationship tips come from my experience with Teddy Brewski. He is better than any boyfriend I have had, any day, because I am his one and only. Here is some snarky relationship advice from a woman who has been through enough guys to provide it to you with certain flair. He does what I tell him. (Well, most of the time). If not, I can throw the leash on him and he is always by my side. If I did that to a boyfriend I would probably get arrested (or be into some really, weird S&M craziness which… Continue Reading

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Snarky Dating Tips and Advice: “Slow & Low That is the Tempo”

By Melany on July 11, 2013 in Relationships

Since now I am somewhat of an authority on snarky dating tips and advice, I thought I would make a little cheat sheet for SOME things that have come up a lot in my dating life. Read these tips and commit them to your brain. Keep them handy and if you ever doubt me – don’t. I have been there, done that and am trying to save you from unpleasant experiences people. K? Take my dating advice! When going on a date you should follow this snarky dating advice….. Consider the source and place where you met your date. Dog… Continue Reading

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Worst date idea: 4th of July while shoving your face & doing other unattractive things

By Melany on July 4, 2013 in Relationships

Happy Fourth of July to all of my Melanysguydlines.com readers! Thank you for your support and being the best readers ever! A few dating tips for you on this day of fireworks and bad eating! Always remember to stay snarky. Here are few reasons why the Fourth of July is not the best idea for a first date! Take these guydlines and trust me- I have experience in the dating arena (unfortunately). 1. Don’t ever use the pick up line “You want to make fireworks with me?” unless it is on Twitter because you can get away with saying anything… Continue Reading

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Trouble in Online dating part 2,233,557 – Drunk texting at 2AM

By Melany on June 30, 2013 in Relationships

These things only happen to me right? Where do I get rid of my crazy magnet? Online dating is not fun or snarky – again! It sucks. Here is another reason (as if I needed another one). Let me set this up for you – A week ago, I log on to mydatenightmares.com to a really nice email from an equally as nice looking young man (holy shit it is a miracle, right?) So, I do not delay and send my number when he asks for it! And wait…. 1. Nice pics – (no come hither poses on beds or… Continue Reading

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Online Virtual Dating App: At First Sight- will you accept this rose?

By Melany on June 28, 2013 in Relationships

I think I might have to eat my words and try this new dating app from Chris Harrison of “The Bachelor”. You know who he is right? You think he would know a little about dating after doing so many years on that show (which I don’t watch – but my mom loves it???) I obviously (unfortunately) know about dating and online dating nightmares which are not snarky or fun. But, lets weigh my options for trying this new dating app that was launched last week! Something has to work well eventually, right? The new dating app – fittingly called… Continue Reading

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Stay off my online profile MOM

By Melany on May 31, 2013 in Relationships

I wanted to write something about dating but again, my dating life is slightly boring and totally protected at this point in time. There are a few people I promised I would never write about (unless they did something so ridiculous that it would make it on the “guydlines”) so, unfortunately (for you and not me) there is no fantastic new entry into the hall of shame. Don’t worry; I am sure it won’t be that way for long knowing my amazingly unlucky, luck. However, I have a mother that likes to pry into my business in every which way… Continue Reading

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