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Dating & Sex with Patti Stanger & Perez Hilton for Match.com

As most of you know, I drove to Arizona a few weeks ago for relaxation and to step away from my keyboard. And….I failed miserably at relaxing plus got a speeding ticket along the way. So, not the most fun trip but, I did take part in a discussion with the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patti Stanger and Perez Hilton discussing love, dating and sex findings from Match.com 2014 study. The event looked Ah–mazing in New York and I am bummed that I could not actually be at there in RL. However, I was selected to represent the West Coast blogging community… Continue Reading

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Snark Queen/Melanysguydlines on the Modern Dater K-HOW

There is so much going on with Melanysguydlines and it is great! I have been appointed as the Snark Queen from Beverly Hills for my relationship and dating advice! If you have not heard (then you have been under a rock)  – I was on the radio this past weekend! Radio is near and dear to my heart as most of you know that I used to promote all of your favorite rock bands on radio. But, this time I was not asked to promote Van Halen or Velvet Revolver but ME and Melanysguydlines. The Modern Dater show is in… Continue Reading

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Bye Cold But, I’m Keeping the Funny, Sexy Voice!

Prince charming is living with mr right

I am back from Vegas and have a cold. It is not fantastic because I am still hungry but can’t taste anything so forget about losing weight while sitting here with my thumb up my ass.  It is not awesomely dehydrating like the stomach flu where you magically lose 5 pounds. It is more like I am bloated like a puffer fish from the sodium in soup I have been ordering from the local LA Delicatessens. At least I have been able to catch up on taxes, which may actually be the worst thing in life besides moving or a… Continue Reading

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Bitch on Plane & Graziano Mob Wives Meat Cleavers?

get off cell phone

Follow my blog with Bloglovin Hello, hello! I am back in LALAland and just in time to rock out to some 80’s rock n’ roll tonight! Stephen Pearcy from Ratt and roll is playing at the Whisky and how could I miss it? Well I am not! I lucked out and jumped on an earlier plane yesterday so that I could get home and apply all the new social media and blogging knowledge to this blog! Of course, I had a lady on my plane who thought that she was the only person on the aircraft. She was no Alec… Continue Reading

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Snarky Relationship & Social Media Tips from Vegas

I am deliriously typing this from Las Vegas and rocking out to Metallica on 92.3 KOMP (which is now giving me an aggressive burst of energy). So, please forgive me for the briefness and random nature of the post. I do love Las Vegas but unfortunately when people tell me that I will find love when I least expect it – they LIE! I have been here for almost 7 days, not looking and found nada. So – boo! Oh, and please stop asking single people, “Why are you still single?” because if you do, I give them all permission… Continue Reading

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Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

Happy New Year 2014: With or Without Resolutions

Happy New Year! Welcome 2014! I am so happy that I am not going to be hung-over, broke, waking up next to a goat or hungry from celebrating getting ripped off on New Years Eve (aka amateur hour). Not sure what the fascination is about going out to celebrate a day in the month of a calendar with 365 days? Yes, I realize that I sound like my parents. Cheers to getting another year older, wiser, and a little bit more in love with my couch. Shouldn’t we celebrate everyday? I know some of you reading this may be drunk,… Continue Reading

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Being Single for the Holidays-Yeah?!

Being single for the holidays

  Happy holidays MG fans! Wishing you the most wonderful holiday (whatever holiday it is that you celebrate without offending you). A fellow blogger asked me to write a piece about what it is like being single during the holidays and  I know a thing or two about this topic (unfortunately or fortunately). Thanks Karen -for the great topic. This is one of my favorites!   In a perfect world I would love to have a kickass companion, boyfriend, mate, or husband along with a perfectly trained dog to spend the holidays with (aren’t they the same? No? Oh). In… Continue Reading

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Dating Hall of Shame VIP

Here is a SUPER special (I mean SPECIAL, but not in a good way) nod to this dipshit into the Dating Hall of Shame VIP Platinum club! I have to give this guy an A+ for effort and an F for being the F@#$#@ing most oblivious and annoying online and texting dater ever!  DUDE  – get a clue! I have not answered 1 text from you EVER and the first one here was dated back in September. If I didn’t live in LA, I would probably be married to a huge, successful, fantastic, man by now. We could be living… Continue Reading

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Happy Halloween aka Dress like a slut day!

happy dress like a slut day

Ho Ho Ho – Don’t be a Ho on Halloween. It is not cute. For this blog post I am going to break down what to wear and what not to wear on Halloween in my YouTube video. I mean, if you are a slut you do not need to wait for Halloween to dress like one. But, please spare me the bikini tops when you are flat as a board unless you are signaling Ms. Miley Cyrus. Also, in this video I will address the well known “frienemy” epidemic which plagues most women. Don’t be one of them! Watch,… Continue Reading

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DatingAdvice.com: Me, An Expert?

Dating advice expert

This week has been insane for me but in a great way! This dating and relationship blogosphere is full of information, tips, advice, experts and people who think they are experts. I have learned so much and in no way claim to be an expert but feel that I am heading in that direction (especially when it come to dating this blog and not going on any real dates). What does it mean to be an expert on love and relationships anyway? We all have both of these things (hopefully) in our lives and are full of experiences both good… Continue Reading

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Online Dating: What Not To Do (Again & Again)

You all know that I have a plethora of online dating nightmare stories and it has not stopped but I have limited my reporting on such ridiculousness because it is depressing quite frankly. This one – I need to get off my chest. Please don’t make these mistakes while online dating or you will end up in the online dating nightmare category, which I should create on this here blog. The following are texts messages from a potential suitor from Sept 22, 2013 – Oct. 10, 2013 that went unanswered by me (I did answer the first week  but he… Continue Reading

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Online Dating Advice: Felony Melany Style

Melany Felony Online dating tips

It was a rainy day here in Los Angeles so I decided to play with YouTube a little more. There are so many instructional videos for your instructional video on how to make a YouTube video. They tell you what to do, what not to do, what lighting to use, that you should stand on your head and play a tuba while blowing another bubble out of your ass, wear a donkey suit with a big clown nose down to what to say and what not to say. It is overwhelming to say the least so I just say what… Continue Reading

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