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Happy Almost #DressLikeASlutDay

Happy Almost #DressLikeASlutDay aka Halloween!

Happy Almost #DressLikeASlutDay aka Halloween!

Happy October and you should all be preparing your costumes for Halloween by now. If you haven’t (like me) then you better get your ass in gear because it is coming up quickly.

What I have done to prepare is cleanse myself with a 5 day cleanse. No, it was not easy but yes, totally worth it. I almost ate my own arm last night but was saved by a breakfast burrito to break the fast. I couldn’t take a pic because it didn’t last that long and I don’t typically take pics of food (I’ll leave that to all of you).

For Halloween last year, I bought a skirt but by the time I got home and looked at myself in the mirror (which I am convinced the majority of people don’t do on a daily basis) I had to change costumes. There was no way I would be caught in a skirt that was as a short as a 1950’s swimsuit. Sure, some may wear it but most should definitely not be wearing it. I don’t even know if it was made out of plastic but some other quasi-plastic-y, rubber material that made me look like I was trying too hard or needed a sugar daddy. I need neither.

So, I went with something in my closet that was rocker and leather (calm down). I threw on a bunch of jewelry and a pair of studded ears and called it a day. It was sexy but not slutty. There is a difference. Remember that.

Warning WOMEN: When you buy a costume in a bag or off the internet I suggest that you try it on first before attending your Halloween Spooktacular. You don’t want to end up being the entertainment for the night frightening the entire party. No, no one will tell you that you look like something stuffed into a sausage casing. It is too tight and too short if it comes out of a bag. Trust me. You have been warned.

And if you didn’t see this video….you should! Take notes.

**Stay snarky my friends!**

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6 Responses to Happy Almost #DressLikeASlutDay

  1. Miguel Nolasco October 19, 2015 at 3:49 pm #

    Wow , Is it really Halloween in less than 2 WEEKS ???? last year, I came as myself to Halloween gatherings . And peeps go ” Hey when are you gonna to stop being JIM MORISSON for Halloween ” . I say …” thank You , I really just wake up this way “…hehehehee

    • Melany October 19, 2015 at 6:45 pm #

      I know – I can’t believe it! Happy HoHoHo. That is too funny – thought you were Jim Beam.

  2. Carrie October 20, 2015 at 2:28 pm #

    Even for Halloween, you look amazing! Love the look and great piece.

    • Melany October 20, 2015 at 4:09 pm #

      Awww thank you!!!

  3. Jack k October 23, 2015 at 6:49 pm #

    How many ways can I say wow. You sure are eye candy even in a Halloween costume. Lookin’ good.
    Damn. You know how to make it look classy. I liked your post about all the weird looking people and how they perceive themselves. I sure agree. When you write about things like this I get a real chuckle.

    • Melany October 25, 2015 at 8:21 am #

      Aww thanks so much!! You rock. What are you going to be for Halloween?

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