I want to say thank you for giving me the opportunity to make people laugh with melanysguydlines.com. This single girl blog was created as a result of some of the hardest moments in my life but has served well as MY cathartic outlet. My tag line is that I have lived 9 lives, and I truly have . I have been blessed with loving parents and for that I am most thankful. Each of us has our own struggles and obstacles to overcome. I have not lived in your shoes nor have you lived in mine. Life is hard; no one said it would be easy. My family has been thrown more than our share of curveballs but we are fighters and persevere in the face of others who may have wronged us along the way. Another year, more tough times ahead but I try to look at everything with a smile or I would not be able to keep strong. I give this advice to you for the year 2013.
To those of you I have lost in 2012 (kicked out of my life); out with the old and in with the much better new! Good riddance to the naysayers and negative forces who have surrounded me and welcome to all the positive wonderful influences in my future. Karma is a bitch but, she should LOVE me and I can’t wait to see what she has in store for 2013. I am sure there will be more tough times ahead but I know there will be an overwhelming abundance of fantastic times! I am over over-due. Life must follow the science of the bell curve. What goes up must go down but will go back up STRONGER than ever. Here I come!
I am proud of who I am and what I stand for. This blog is a peek into my world. If you can’t laugh with me, then you have more problems that I can help you with here. Again, I have a great therapist for that. Private message me.
I have been told that I have a way with words so here are a couple parting “melanysguydlines” for the end of 2012 (use these for reading my blog and life in general!) Words of wisdom created and learned from one of the most amazing people I ever knew. KISSEZZ. There will never be anyone like you ever again and I am honored to have been your best friend for 31 years in life and for eternity.
1. You may not like my stories, but I probably don’t like you.
2. You say I’m A Bitch, like it’s a Bad Thing?
3. Mean Girl? Heard that. Careful what you say.
4. Love and cherish your parents! They are not as good as mine, but they are the only set you have. Love you mommy and daddy – thank you for all the support! You are truly the best.
5. Chill out and get over yourself before you read what I have to say.
6. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. If you can’t handle the truth, it means you can’t speak the truth.
8. If you can’t handle it, don’t read it.
9. I wouldn’t dare talk about you behind your back. I have a blog!
10. I’m only bitchy on days ending with Y.
11. RELAX and chill the f-out!
12. Good rock n’ roll is MANDATORY for happiness. Go get some.
13. Ten girls can’t share the same brain-TRUTH. I have never been a follower. You should try it some time.
15. Stop the bullshit! Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Tell me who you really are.
16. The toes you step on today may be attached to the ass you will have to kiss tomorrow.
Melany’s Guydline #29 – With this I bid farewell and good riddance 2012. Bring it on 2013!! I hope that you ALL (well there are a few I don’t care about) have an amazing, healthy, prosperous, and 2013 full of laughter, joy, and fun.
Happy New Year!
Melany Berger & Teddy Brewksi (of course)
**Stay snarky my friends!**