Hello MG fans. So, I have been slammed since my return from Arizona and the holiday season madness. I am doing my best to catch up with publicist requests, tinder matches (separate blog post for this and there are more perverts to be discovered every day), training Teddy Brewski, thinking of YouTube videos for your viewing pleasure, not eating the entire house, and needing a wheelbarrow to go to the gym.
As I have mentioned to you in the past, I will only write about things publicists send me that I find interesting and funny. About a month ago, two separate emails appeared in my inbox that made me laugh. No, it was not the exclusive invitation to the Beverly Hills Men’s couture shop for gentlemen under 5’6 tall (truth) but some naughty coloring books for adults. People always want to get creative with stocking stuffers and I have two different books that don’t require any reading for you! Thankfully the people who provide us with crazy new gifts for the holidays know that we would rather be entertained by coloring with oversized crayons than reading long blog posts or books any day. Coloring you say? YES – I got two coloring books from publicists.
Let me put it to you this way. These coloring books aren’t for your children’s eyes or your parent’s (sorry mom and dad). Let me just say one would be rated “R” and the other “X” – um, very “X”.
This first coloring book for us lazy readers is the “Coloring for Grown-Ups Holiday Fun Book”. A few of my favorite designs have to be the:
-Halloween (and you know dress like a slut day is a big topic for me) and on this page you can draw your very own sexy costume on a naked woman.
-Groundhog day page and drawing the furry little guys hallucinations for the year to come.
-Valentines Day cards lovingly expressing to your significant other that “I have decided to fart in front of you” or the oh-so nice “We are getting fat” card.
-Christmas and which lap would you rather sit on? Santa? The Easter Bunny? Or maybe Jason (Halloween)? Or even the design your very own hideous Halloween sweater?
Lastly, what Holiday Coloring Book would be complete without the New Years Eve page? This page includes the New Years Eve walk of shame maze complete with stops for hangover cures and an emergency appointment at the clinic (come on, its ok if you have done this walk)?
This coloring book gave me a few belly laughs – and that is hard to do. Go grab a copy or if you let me know, maybe I will give this away to a lucky reader.
“For all of us who need some support to get through the holiday season in good cheer, here is a coloring book that walks the fine line between adult responsibility and childhood fun…..
Dreamed up by the creators of the massive Youtube hit, “Hipster Olympics,” COLORING FOR GROWN-UPS was the ultimate F-you to growing up and now the HOLIDAY FUN BOOK is the much-needed rescue from the quality time-seeking clutches of families.”
For coloring book #2, you will have to use a little more of your own imagination. The “Sex Position Coloring Book: Playtime for Adults”. I can’t be as descriptive here for a few reasons and one of them is mom. As my mom says, “Melany, you don’t need any more perverts following you” and she is right. This book is educational (is that the right word?) and you should get yourself a copy if you are so inclined or have a friend that is celebrating a bachelorette party or just a little “wild” in the bedroom.
Melanysguydlines # 59 Enjoy! But, always remember to protect that crayon.
**Stay snarky my friends!**