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Happy Halloween aka Dress like a slut day!

happy dress like a slut day

Ho Ho Ho – Don’t be a Ho on Halloween. It is not cute. For this blog post I am going to break down what to wear and what not to wear on Halloween in my YouTube video. I mean, if you are a slut you do not need to wait for Halloween to dress like one. But, please spare me the bikini tops when you are flat as a board unless you are signaling Ms. Miley Cyrus. Also, in this video I will address the well known “frienemy” epidemic which plagues most women. Don’t be one of them! Watch,… Continue Reading

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DatingAdvice.com: Me, An Expert?

Dating advice expert

This week has been insane for me but in a great way! This dating and relationship blogosphere is full of information, tips, advice, experts and people who think they are experts. I have learned so much and in no way claim to be an expert but feel that I am heading in that direction (especially when it come to dating this blog and not going on any real dates). What does it mean to be an expert on love and relationships anyway? We all have both of these things (hopefully) in our lives and are full of experiences both good… Continue Reading

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Shane Alexander: Indie Music Artist & Friend

Shane Alexander 1

I am so lucky to have met some phenomenal people while working in the music business. For those of you who do not know, my previous life was marketing many of my all time favorite rock bands. I loved my job but it was hard on my mind, body and soul. During that time, I rocked hard and met many interesting but only a few exceptional people. One of my all time favorite rockstars (whom you should get to know if you don’t already) is Shane Alexander. We met while working for legendary music manager, Irving Azoff. (I marketed many… Continue Reading

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Online Dating: What Not To Do (Again & Again)

You all know that I have a plethora of online dating nightmare stories and it has not stopped but I have limited my reporting on such ridiculousness because it is depressing quite frankly. This one – I need to get off my chest. Please don’t make these mistakes while online dating or you will end up in the online dating nightmare category, which I should create on this here blog. The following are texts messages from a potential suitor from Sept 22, 2013 – Oct. 10, 2013 that went unanswered by me (I did answer the first week  but he… Continue Reading

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The Hollywood Man: Hot, but Not Into Me

Just in case you missed my latest YouTube video  – here it is! Let me offer you the real perspective on a Hollywood club. They are not the greatest places to meet men unless you are in fact, a man. There are a lot of hot guys but they are either: A. More interested at looking at themselves in the mirror B. More interested at looking at each other It is so frustrating. Oh and BTW – what was the name of that movie where Lily Tomlin is a small person? **Stay snarky my friends!**

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Online Dating Advice: Felony Melany Style

Melany Felony Online dating tips

It was a rainy day here in Los Angeles so I decided to play with YouTube a little more. There are so many instructional videos for your instructional video on how to make a YouTube video. They tell you what to do, what not to do, what lighting to use, that you should stand on your head and play a tuba while blowing another bubble out of your ass, wear a donkey suit with a big clown nose down to what to say and what not to say. It is overwhelming to say the least so I just say what… Continue Reading

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Get Seriously Friendly: Say Hello & Grab Yourself a Date

hello oral care products to get a date

  It is Rocktober people and I want to encourage you to get back into the dating game this fall. If you are a little rusty let me offer you a “guydline” so that you can break the ice and not look like you are trying too hard. If batting your eyelashes, sticking out your chest, and giving a come hither stare does not work in getting you potential date’s attention then I suggest a few things. Pick a body part that you like and compliment his (get out the gutter ladies) eyes. Tell them they are as blue as… Continue Reading

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Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

Not a Certified Relationship Expert: Going Certifiably Insane Dating!

Since I started writing this blog, many people ask me so many questions regarding relationships, dating and online dating. I never said I was a certified expert in dating or relationships but I have a hell of a lot of experience in this arena (unfortunately)! I have dated every idiot from the top to the bottom of California (a little in Arizona, Washington, Texas, Florida and New York but who is keeping track?) and am looking for someone to save me from the horrible dating party and online dating predicament I am in! I am not a certified relationship expert… Continue Reading

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Melanysguydlines on YouTube – Snarky, Golden Nuggets of Twitter

Melanysguydline You tube

Hello people! So, I always said that I would never be in front of the camera. Well, I lied. I will admit it when I do. If I can’t criticize and make fun of myself then I should not be writing this snarky blog. Should I? I admit that my dating mishaps and relationship blunders are a good reason that I was given this outlet to spout, so why not put a face and voice to my golden nuggets of “guydlines” for you? Right? Welcome to the Melanysguydlines snarky world of YouTube. I am excited to show you this first try… Continue Reading

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