Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, make me a match, and don’t make him a snatch. Please don’t show me a picture of a man wearing a black top hot, holding a cane (and try to convince me that he is cute-when it is not) or ask me if I would go on a date with the FATHER of a guy I did not want to date because HE looked too old for me (so of course his FATHER is WAY too old for me, OBVIOUSLY). I don’t want to date a man who weighs more than “Free Willy”, and… Continue Reading
One day, I was working in my living room and all of a sudden hear a man’s voice saying “hello,” which was so scary considering I live alone. I look around and slowly move down the hall to my kitchen and say “hello” in a very timid, little voice. I hear “hello” again and get really scared. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
So “hypothetically” speaking, I once knew this girl named Melanie. She was given the name “Felony Melanie” in college. Melanie had several nicknames throughout high school, including “Mel”, “Melba-toast” (lame), “Smelly Mel” (Thanks to her Uncle Ben – you’re an ass) and the one that stuck – “Felony Melanie”. (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
Workout #1 complete following successful Bday celebrations (a.k.a. celebrations lasted way too long and was part of the process of taking years off my life). (more…) **Stay snarky my friends!**
