It pains me to tell you, John (if that is even your name) but I must move on without you in my life. I want to thank you for having a complete mental breakdown in my apartment (because it alerted me that you need some professional help and the need for this letter). I just texted you my therapist’s name and number and he will be expecting your call. He DEFINITELY knows who you are and that I referred you (I get $100 off for every person I refer, so I am getting free therapy for at least the next… Continue Reading

Dear John, This funny dating story is entertaining to me because I just ran into ex-boyfriend #2 from last year after not seeing, hearing, or receiving smoke signals of his existence for almost a year! For ex-boyfriend #2 , we will call him John. I think that protects him enough. I mean come on John, and when I saw him he was running so fast that he was probably being chased by the police, another girl, huge man from the Castro named Fifi who wanted his money back or by someone else he sold his pretend life story too.  So, he… Continue Reading